When a Book Gets Too Close to Home

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” We are the children left behind, We are survivors, We are the children of Divorce” -Mj Jones

I will begin by saying that I am blessed to have the option and opportunity to work from home. Because I work from home and not attached to a headset, I have the privilege of being able to listen to audiobooks. I have always loved books, from a young age I was destined to be a bookworm. Even after my parents divorce, I distinctly remember my daddy putting me to bed with a bedtime story. Back then, we had encyclopedias and ours was full of children stories (I’m giving away my age). It was moments like this that I have treasured and because of moments like this that I was never able to hate my father for living my mother, us, our family.

You might be wondering what am I getting at right? Well, the book I am currently listening to, speaks of divorce and the damage it does to children. It speaks of the sad situations in which children are often tossed into it, and how parents’ words affect and shape children and their minds. Our family was no different. Arguments happened. They happened for a while, until my dad got remarried and pretty much stopped seeing us (how odd right?). For many years, I resented my father and after long while, I forgot about him.

This book has revived some painful memories and brought out a little sadness out, I keep thinking of the ordeal that my younger brother, sister and I had to endure as children. There’s nothing I can do about those days but I can choose to move past it and look for the positivity in my childhood. The main character has been influenced by her mom to hate her father and to take on the divorce as if she was part of it, as if she and her mother were a package that her father got rid of. She fails to see that the divorce was not between her and her dad but her parents alone. And this is precisely why I feel triggered, I can recognize that although my parents divorce was not the most pleasant and they were not nice to each other, they never made us choose a side.

Fast forward to the present, in my life I can say I am glad that technology has come a long way and we know have plenty of ways to communicate. My father lives in a different country and with apps like Facebook and WhatsApp, talking to people far from us has never been easier. We no longer have to worry about long distance phone call charges (yes, I am this old). With technology facilitating communication, I decided to try and get close to my dad and perhaps mend our relationship. It has been a few years since we have started talking again and although at times it feels weird, we have made some progress. Today my parents are cordial to each other, perhaps it’s the fact that they have aged or that they are tired and no longer bitter about their divorce? No one really knows, I am just glad they are better now. Wisdom apparently does come with age.

The reason i wrote this post is to let others know that time heals all wounds, and although we can never get rid of the sad memories or change what was, we can choose to look at life with a positive eye and look for the hidden lessons amidst the pain. Hope you enjoyed my short post, thank you for reading.

MJ Jones