Nine days ago I celebrated my birthday. Although I am happy to be alive and able to celebrate another year, I can’t help but feel sad for all the things that I now wish I had done. I wish I had taken the time to focus and planned my life, rather than just living it one day at a time.
It is true that youth can be so adorably naive for some. I always felt that there was more to my life than the life I had and yet, I made no attempts to better myself. I followed the pack, I worried for what others may think, etc.
My biggest accomplishment are my children. In that, I can at least say that I am proud to have been gifted that journey. Motherhood. It is one thing I will never regret.
But in other ways, my personal growth, my goals, and my own dreams were tucked away in the imaginary hope chest I had carved for myself, in hopes to one day make them happen. One day.
Now, years later I sit here. With stress and in a hurry to finish my school so that I can finally work in a profession that I feel has been my calling for a long time. And at the same, I second guess my path and doubt myself. Is it because I feel old? Am I too tired?
Questions like these always bring me down. I am now one year older than the last and yet, not close enough to my goals. What is tomorrow? A dream, or a regret?
Mj Jones
MJ Jones' Life 