Author: MJ Jones

Fun, loving, mother. I try to live life to the fullest, like every other human on this planet, I am flawed and far from perfect. Trying hard to become a better woman, friend, mother and overall decent human being. My interests include reading, weightloss surgery ,cooking, fitness, affordable fashion, positivity and enhancing my moral views.
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When Tomorrow Comes

Set up a plan and goals

Good evening. Another day working on my future.

If you read my previous blog then you know Im in the process of ending my marriage. Everyday has been hard, I feel like a zombie of sorts. Not the kind that eats humans but the kind that just walks around wondering the wilderness. I of course, dont live in the wilderness but you get the point. Needless to say, even though my life is currently upside down I am happy to announce that I may have found a new place of residence.

If you’ve ever been in my shoes then you know how awesome this truly is, because that’s one less thing to worry about: shelter. Next is to have a second job. Maybe a short part time to help me build up my savings before I dive into school again.

One thing that truly sucks is that all of this is happening right before the holidays. This is my favorite season and here I am now, at my parents and pulling my hair trying to figure out my next step every ten minutes.

In addition to this, I am hurt and emotionally unstable. Ending a marriage is not easy. I know my soon to be exhusband loves me and I him but living like cats and dogs is just not healthy. The good days were great but the bad days were very bad. And in time, I think the bad outweighed the good. It hurts terribly. I will not bash him here and say that Im happy, blah blah. I am not happy about it. It is debilitating and the pain weighs down my heart.

Walking away was not easy but I do think that staying would have eventually led us to hate each other and that I won’t have. I’d rather finish it in an amicable way. I want to be able to bump into him and say hello and be happy for him. And hope he feels the same towards me.

I hope tomorrow is better than today and I hope tomorrow helps me heal. I hope to set and achieve my goals. I hope for a better me in the future. And I hope for his happiness and health as well.

Good night. Take care.

Luv,

MJ Jones

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Marriage no Longer.

Photo by Jan Koetsier on Pexels.com

Good evening. Covid has really done a number on us huh? To some it has created chaos and to the rest of us, it has brought out hidden feelings and uncomfortable memories. It seems to me that this pandemic has brought us quarantine but it also has brought divorce.

True, divorce is hardly the worst that the pandemic has brought us but it still hurts. It seems that been in close proximity for extended periods of time with our loved ones has created issues. Tempers flare and for those of us that had already been struggling with “weathering the storm” or ” carefully avoiding arguments”, the close space has pushed us over the edge.

What I mean is, in my case my relationship was already fragile. Him with a hot temper, me with an over sensitive nature. At least, that’s what he said. Anyways, we finally had it out and we are done with trying to hold on to this marriage. My question is; Why does it hurt so? I know that this is the best thing for both of us but why is still aching? How exactly does one move on without wondering if the other is hurting? Should we care? These are just a few questions that I will be going over with my therapist. Yes, I will be hiring a therapist to help me untangle my emotions.

I have had therapy before, and ironically I began therapy then because of this relationship. Now, 10 years later here I am again. Should I have left long ago? Have I been holding to an impossible dream? Why did I hold on to it? I know I sound repetitive and lame but I cant help to wonder about my lack of common sense. Perhaps love takes over and one simply hopes that all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Not realizing that the puzzle may have been missing a few pieces from the get-go.

But there is light at the end of my tunnel because I know, deep down in my heart that I have goals to accomplish and that my life has to keep moving. Like a river that barely has water and yet, it manages to reach impossible places. I have to refocus on my own journey, on my career and on furthering my education. I am no spring chicken so time is of the essence. I don’t have to time to feel sorry for myself. My therapist will be in charge of making sure I am healing and staying focused on my own well being without me actually thinking about it. That’s the beauty of therapy. That’s how it works,

With this, I bid you good night. I can’t think of much more to write tonight. I have been making it from one day to the next on auto-pilot. And, if you are in a similar situation just know that life goes on and while our hearts hurt, we always have tomorrow to make things better. We are strong, we humans, Men and women hurt when a marriage is over so don’t be embarrassed to acknowledge your feelings, just don’t let them take over you. We are meant to be resilient so don’t you give up and don’t you sit there crying for days. Buck up, make a plan. Set up a few goals, and focus on making it one day at a time. Right now, its about you taking care of you.

Take care,

MJ Jones

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The Weather and its Moods on us

Fire is always nice on a cold day

My oh my! What lovely weather we have in Central Texas today. As many of you know, Texas is known for being hot so when we get anything under 70 degrees we ENJOY it. Earlier today, I noticed the temperature had reached 66 degrees and we are now 48 degrees. So in true Texan spirit I had to make something nice and warm for dinner. I decided to make Caldo de Albondigas with spanish rice as a side and a few homemade blue corn tortillas. Ooops, I almost forgot to mention I also made a nice homemade salsa to give it some heat.

The husband and kids loved it. So of course, I was happy because what mom doesn’t love hearing her family praise her cooking right? I know I do, and my mom does too as my grandmother did when she was alive. It’s a right of passage I think, bragging rights to the kitchen.

Even after my bariatric surgery, I have managed to continue enjoying my cooking. I love to try new recipes and more often than not, while I work from home at my desk I plan dinner depending on my mood or source of inspiration. I can’t eat the same amount of food I did before but that the whole point right? It is why I chose to do this surgery, to lose and manage my weight. Having bariatric surgery doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy my food, it only means that I have to choose wisely and manage my portions.

I’ve come across posts on social media about people that have this type of surgery and can’t wait to go back to old eating habits. It’s strange, because I wonder what was the purpose of doing it in the first place right? I think there’s some misconception about what this surgery does to us and what the expectations are afterwards. Anyways, that whole different subject for another day.

Back to this beautiful weather and how it makes us feel. I don’t know about you but cold weather is definitely my favorite. I do believe it is because we have so little of it here though, some folks up north might hate it and that’s because they truly experience cold weather unlike our mild temps down here. It sort of how we like curly hair when we have straight hair right? and vice versa. We want cold temps here and they want hot temps up there…ha!

Currently, since dinner is over and done with I am now sitting on my bed writting this post and looking out the window. I can see the breeze moving the trees and the grey clouds saturating the sky. Not a peep of sunlight can be seen, just thick grey clouds over us.

Do you prefer cold weather or hot weather? Why?

I will continue to stare out the window and hope this cold weather will last us at least a few days before we go back to our normal 80s. With this, I bid you good night.

Take care,

Mrs Jones

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Selfcare on a Sunday Morning

Squash and Peppers

Good and blessed morning! I hope your sunday started off fine and continues that way. We’ve had very hot days here in Central Texas and wanting to go outside has been a struggle. However, my vitamin D levels are very low and the sun helps me with that so I braved the heat and went to work on my vegetable garden for a little while today. Two hours to be exact.

Let me first say that working on my garden brings me peace. It allows me to focus on my peace of mind by giving me the time to sit there and enjoy nature while tending to it. I am not a pro in gardening but I am trying to do my part in learning how to grow my own veggies, herbs and hopefully frutis too. I do have a beautiful squash growing and have been tending to it for a few months now.

As I sat there I was able to enjoy the sun, even though it was already hot at 8 am, it made me feel good. As I have mentioned before, I had bariatric surgery early this year and theres a chance that vitamin deficiency might occur. Well, vitamin D is low so I am currently deficient. My doctor prescribed me some and suggested I went out and got some sun while making sure I took care of my self by applying sunscreen and wearing a hat for my face. This is why I went outside today and decided to take care of my physical needs while also taking care of my emotional and spiritual needs.

While I gardened I made it a point to thank Mother Nature for her blessings, and assured her that I was not destroying the grass but rather bringing in more plants to enhance its environment. I know it sounds crazy but I do like to communicate with nature as much as possible. I pray for it and try to do my best not to harm it.

I ended up with a nicely weeded area and with two of my pepper plants from my indoor pots planted firmly in their new outodoor spots. I prepared the regular soil with food and good top soil while also covering them with mulch at the top. I feel satisfied and look forward to the next opportunity I have to transfer my tomatoes and my basil. Doing these things make me happy and cleanse my soul from negativity.

I hope you find something to do today that will allow you to take care of yourself physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Find something to do and immerse yourself in it. Pray while you do it and release any negative energy you might be carrying with you. Take a deep breath and know that you have the power to make yourself better, only you can affect the outcome of your day. Happiness is a choice, and that choice is yours.

Seize the day and be productive in your selfcare. Tend to your needs, to your soul and live your best life. Til next time.

MJ Jones

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Bathtime and Peace of Mind

Treat yourself to sweet scents and a good read.

Good evening. I hope you’re well and enjoying your night. Its now 8:24 pm and I find myself preparing for bed. Best way to do this? A long hot bath.

As I stated before, life seems to move at a faster pace every year. Every day really. Our daily routines can and will take time away from our self care. Often, we have a list of to do things or tasks but more often than not, we never mark anything down to help us with our own self care needs.

Besides time, we often think that taking care of us means we have to spend money we may or may not have, the truth is that a good oil essence added to out bath water can often be enough to relax us and help us release our stress. Stop overthinking and just indulge in some personal time. Set out some candles and just breathe. Relax.

Im not saying that pampering yourself at an actual spa is not great, what I ak saging is that sometimes thats not financially possible. However, it should be ok for gou to enjoy bathtime at home with your favorite candles and oil scents. A few drops of oil will do the trick, no need to use half a bottle in every bath. Some of my favorite scents are Lavender, Vanilla and Sandalwood, depending on my mood. A hot bath with low dimmed light works wonders. If you have a speaker that you can safely use in the bathroom without risking it being too close to your tub then use it. Set it to low volume and play something nice and mellow. It will improve your mood and allow you focus on your breathing and relaxation.

Lastly, love yourself. Your peace of mind and mental health matter. What you do today will improve your tomorrow.

Til next time,

MJ Jones

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Less Stimulus, More Sleep Please.

Step away from electronics

Feeling tired? Join the club!

Millions of Americans suffer from sleep depravation. Many have no choice because they have to work more than two jobs or maybe because they have to work and attend school. Others is because they are single parents or because they have to care for others. All of these are understandable situations. But whats the excuse for those of us who have only one job, no real extracurricular activities or care for others? Lets chat about that.

Each of us is responsible for our own well being. Thats the first thing to understand. When we choose to keep our eyes glued to the tv or to our personal gadgets, we have no one to blame but us. The truth is that more and more we immerse ourselves in social media or binge on shows that take away from our sleep time.

I dont want to sound like a broken record but if you find yourself tired and its not due to some medical condition or one of the situations described above then maybe its time to do some self care? Maybe it’s time to care for you first and foremost. Are you in? I have a few suggestions that will help you with your rest and to create better sleeping habits.

First, lets set up a time to wind down. Choose a time that works with your schedule and stick to it. Turn your tv or gadgets off an hour before bedtime. Prepare yourself by taking a shower or bath, use essential oils or bath bombs to help you relax. If you’re achy, just use Epsom salt in a bath. Relax and meditate. Prayer and/or meditation works to help you focus and release tension from your body. Do what works for you. Visualize and tune yourself with your inner peace. Bring it forth and get your rest. Next, make sure your bed is clean and made, a messy bed with dirty sheets is no place to rest. Set the room temperature according to your preference. Lastly, turn off your phone notifications and the lights. Take a deep breath and go to sleep. Focus on your body and its needs. Your body needs rest so make an attempt to do this.

In time, with a consistent routine you will feel better and your body will know when bed time is approaching. It will let you know when you need to get to bed and start getting your routine together. Trust me, we are overworked, over binged and over stimulated. Its time to calm down and take care of us. Hope my blog helps you feel better and achieve a better nights sleep.

Til next time,

MJ Jones 🌜

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Home and Positive Energy

Goals: A clean home

Good afternoon ya’ll!

What a year huh? Its a strange year for sure. Who knew that 2020 was going to be such a sobering year? It does make me wonder about all the things I have taken for granted like, walking next to a stranger and not worrying about getting sick. Just being out there and enjoying the park right?

Well, as far as I can tell, the only thing I can do to make things better and to protect myself and others, is to wear a mask and stay home as much as possible. I know its very hard and boring and boring and…. boring! But, I rather be safe than sorry. Common sense right? I just read a sobering article from TIME: 500,000 dead worlwide. Pretty sad. So yeah, will be home for sure.

Having said that, let me begin by stressing that unless you have a maid; there’s always something to do at home. And home is where the heart is right? So why not make it better one day at a time. We can begin with small things like, keeping it clean and tidy.

Most of us will agree that when our homes are clean, we feel proud and happy. We enjoy clean, tidy spaces that smell good. I don’t know about you but I love the smell of fresh laundry and clean carpets. There’s nothing like walking into your home and being hit by a wave of fresh scent. My favorite scents are floral, fruity and spicy. Yup, I am scent afficionado.

There’s plenty you can do around the home to keep you busy while making it smell good and fresh. You can even enlist the help of your family (and you should). A home is made of all things we love but its also made by the energy, love and affection from all members. You and your family can beautfy your home together and benefit from the sense of accomplishment that comes with it.

Perhaps, this is the time to move furniture around and get to those tight corners, nooks and crannies that you normally would ignore. Maybe, the baseboards need a scrubbing or just a simple wipe down. If you have essential oils, try adding them to your cleaning solution to add more scent or simply empower the scent even more. I have come to realize that I can mix scents pretty well, so well that I have made a few candles and room sprays for my home. Not for sale, but for my family to enjoy.

Remember, even if you are on tight budget, you can always clean with inexpensive items such as Pinesol, Fabuloso or plain bleach. Some of us have cleaned with Dawn and vinegar mixed together to make a pretty powerful solution. The point is to remove dust, grime and/or old energy accumulated in your home. And yes, I believe eneergy can become stagnant and therefore contribute to our moods. Get up and move that energy around. I sometimes use a little bit of plain water and Florida water mixed together to cleanse my home and it always feels good to do so. Whatever scents you use, focus on the intent of your cleaning and picture an open positive current flowing through your home.

Whatever your own beliefs, a clean home is a happy home. So get up and move around, and while you clean up play some tunes. I love listening to my Spanish musica while I clean, and to my jazz when I cook. Play whatever makes you and keeps you moving. Afterwards, you will enjoy the fruits of your labor in the form of a clean fresch scent all over your home. A tidy home will keep you organized, focused and on track, Remember, a place for everything and everything in its place. Happy cleaning, cheer up! We are going to make it through this difficult uncertain times. Blessings!

Til Next Time,

MJ Jones

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FAMILY AND YOUR HAPPINESS

Hey hey!

Long time no read! I’ve finally sat down to write down my thoughts and share them with the world. So, first things first; I’ve realized that I will be blogging about not only my life after weightloss surgery but also it’s effects on my own family. Lets begin with our choice and it’s effects after surgery.

Enjoy yourself and your family!

More than once I’ve come across pages or posts about folks complaining about not being able to be around their family during preop or after surgery. Lets start with: Why not?

I believe that the first step in truly understading the process is to know that life goes on. Meaning? People should not stop eating around you because you have a restriction. The truth is that if you decide to do this, than you have to be ready to live with food around you.

I know that its hard and that it may seem impossible but it isn’t. Its ok to miss food but its also ok to move forward and adjust your mind to the new you. Its not fair for your family to be deprived of your company. It’s not fair for you to miss their company.

The only way to be successful after surgery is to embrace the new you and your new way of eating. Be happy and know that change is good, remind yourself of why you chose to do this and why you should stick to it. It is possible to reach your goals and enjoy your family at the same time. Its all about how you look at life and food. Dont miss on memories because of your own weakness. Go out there and enjoy yourself. Mingle, cook, whatever! Be with family and love yourself in the process. You’ll feel better at the end and have the struggles to push you forward. You got this 😀

Hope you are well and safe. Take care. Love yourself!

With Luv,

MJ Jones

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Food choices and Bariatric Surgery

“Let thy food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food” – Hippocrates

Obesity, the silent killer everyone sees but no one speaks about. Obesity, the reason for my drastic choice. To succeed I must learn to first: respect and appreciate real good food.

It has been a long while since my last post. I have been busy trying to adjust to my new life after Gastric Sleeve Surgery. To say that it was a big change is an absolute understatement.

Not only is this a physical change but also a mental one.

One of the things that I must write about is the fact that once the surgery is done, there’s no turning back. With most of the stomach having been removed, theres hardly any room for food. The width of your new stomach pouch is 14 mm. So you are able to eat and drink very little. As time goes by, theres room for about half a cup at each meal.

However, I would be lying if I did not write about the mental anguish and longing for food that comes everyitme I eat. I sit with my family and yearn for a full plate, not three or four bites of food.

Along those lines, I end up eating my food cold. It takes that long to eat it now. The pain is real.

But not all is bad, I am now down 47 pounds and learning to make better choices. Protein intake is at top of my list every single day. Then water. Then anything else. I also make sure to take my supplements daily as the level of nutrients absorption diminishes after surgery and the chances of vitamin and mineral deficiency increase.

If you are looking into this procedure, I urge to do some research. Nothing is the same after it, therefore you must be ready to accept the pros and cons from it. It wont be easy but is definitely doable. With patience and a positive attitude, you too will see the results and will begin to enjoy your new body and life.

Til next time,

ThatMrsJones

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A Life Changing Decision

As a lay here on my bed at home, I find myself wondering if I have made the right decision in regards to my weight loss surgery.

I am aware of the life changing effects this surgery will have on not only my weight but also my overall physical and mental health. I find myself questioning if this is indeed, the right step to take.

But, while I question myself on this decision I also am very much aware that I am getting older and every year that goes by, weight loss get harder to accomplish and pursue. My weight is affecting my quality of life and it is simply not fair.

I want to enjoy more of my life, we are living in a time when society is more accepting of our decisions and choices. It is a time to let lose and truly give in to live life.

More and more I think about decisions I made when I was younger, decisions not made on my happiness and desires but rather, decisions made to please others. And I regret many of them. I wish I had had the freedom that society has accepted and adopted today.

And yet, I am afraid. I have been struggling with the decision of whether I would share my decision with friends and family to have bariatric surgery. One thing I do know is that even though society has morphed and come a long way from years past, there is still a stigma that follows those of us that are considering or have had bariatric surgery as being lazy and glutons.

I wish it wouldn’t be something to look down on but alas! Here we are in 2020 and still judging others based on weight and then judging on the decision to have surgery as a “quick, easy way”, let me tell you that there’s nothing easy about this procedure or the life changing effects that follow it.

I will be documenting my own journey, I feel that I have to be able to see my progress from the beginning in order to give me the strength that I know I will need in the future. I will need to remind myself why I have chosen to do this and why I have to keep up with new healthy habits.

Wish me luck on my journey and pray for me, it will not be easy. Send me your positive vibes and stay tuned for my next blog.

Thank you for reading!

With luv,

Mrs Jones