Tag: Faith

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Clarity and Late Nights

The power of thought at night is clarity

Reality is here.

I know that in one of my past blogs, I mentioned being separated from my husband and willing to fight for our marriage. Well, things have changed. I was under the impression that both of us would be “working” towards repairing our marriage but, I was wrong.

It seems that he, the husband is not willing to put in the work, in this case, attend counseling sessions or even try to change some of his negative behaviors. Basically, I am aware that he would change temporarily but not permanently. And I need more than a season, I need life commitment.

There are many reasons a marriage may not last. Lack of communication and commitment are two major reasons. In addition to that, we need trust and loyalty. I had overlooked some of his toxic behaviors because I genuinely thought (fool that I am) that I would change them, that I could be the one to shine a light into him and help him become a better partner. Let me tell you, it does not work. You may be there to emotionally support your spouse day in and day out but nothing will truly change, all that will happen is that he/she will take more from you. In time, your own light diminishes, and your own goals get pushed to the back of your head.

This author has come to the sad and very real conclusion that, no matter how much one loves, or invests in a relationship, the other party has to be equally active in attempting to make things work.

A relationship is not made of one, its consists of two willing individuals trying to do right by each other.

If you are in a one-way relationship, you may want to re-evaluate your position and determine if it is healthy to stay where you are. Live life for you, not for your spouse. We will never change a person who does not want to change. That is the bottom line.

Til next time, do what is best for you. Do not harm others and be positive. 

MJ Jones

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Lil Money, Big Goals

Plan, Plan, Plan…

Long time no post. Yup, I’ve been missing in action. Too much going on, life has been busy. Im lying, I’ve been working like crazy. Too much. And it’s taken a toll on my mood and hobbies.

I’m not sure what your life looks like but let me tell you, mine has been crazy. And not only crazy but stressful. Ever since I became separated I’ve been focused on setting and achieving my goals. And now I feel overwhelmed. Extremely overwhelmed because I am trying to accomplish alot with very little.

My goals? Higher credit score, debt payoff and a better paying job. Oh yeah, and finish school. And all of this while keeping up with my bills and sanity.

Im currently debating whether I should invest on a resume writter. I feel like the chances of landing a better job rest on a good and updated resume. What do you think? Is it worth it?

I consider this an investment because it’s the only way I can justify such an expense. I am not joking when I say that I live by my budget. I’m not playing about my goals and so every penny counts. But Lord, it’s hard. Im sure I’m not the only one going through this so if you’re on a budget then you know how difficult it is to justify the expenditure of unplanned costs. It’s a pain.

Because of this stress, I have been focused on working and saving my money so as to be able to deal with unexpected costs (investments). And due to this, I’ve been away from my blog. Plus, I get tired of the random messages about follows/creepy requests so I kinda stayed away from the scene.

Tonight though, it felt like a night to type a few words together and let my mind speak for itself. My brain is overworked and tired. My body is tired, hell my soul is tired.

I don’t know where you are on your journey but let me say this: you got this, we got this. The trick is to remain focused and positive. While there’s alot to deal with, there’s still alot more to be thankful for. So just take a deep breath and get it done.

Til next time, stay safe and kind.

MJ Jones

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When Tomorrow Comes

Set up a plan and goals

Good evening. Another day working on my future.

If you read my previous blog then you know Im in the process of ending my marriage. Everyday has been hard, I feel like a zombie of sorts. Not the kind that eats humans but the kind that just walks around wondering the wilderness. I of course, dont live in the wilderness but you get the point. Needless to say, even though my life is currently upside down I am happy to announce that I may have found a new place of residence.

If you’ve ever been in my shoes then you know how awesome this truly is, because that’s one less thing to worry about: shelter. Next is to have a second job. Maybe a short part time to help me build up my savings before I dive into school again.

One thing that truly sucks is that all of this is happening right before the holidays. This is my favorite season and here I am now, at my parents and pulling my hair trying to figure out my next step every ten minutes.

In addition to this, I am hurt and emotionally unstable. Ending a marriage is not easy. I know my soon to be exhusband loves me and I him but living like cats and dogs is just not healthy. The good days were great but the bad days were very bad. And in time, I think the bad outweighed the good. It hurts terribly. I will not bash him here and say that Im happy, blah blah. I am not happy about it. It is debilitating and the pain weighs down my heart.

Walking away was not easy but I do think that staying would have eventually led us to hate each other and that I won’t have. I’d rather finish it in an amicable way. I want to be able to bump into him and say hello and be happy for him. And hope he feels the same towards me.

I hope tomorrow is better than today and I hope tomorrow helps me heal. I hope to set and achieve my goals. I hope for a better me in the future. And I hope for his happiness and health as well.

Good night. Take care.

Luv,

MJ Jones

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Selfcare on a Sunday Morning

Squash and Peppers

Good and blessed morning! I hope your sunday started off fine and continues that way. We’ve had very hot days here in Central Texas and wanting to go outside has been a struggle. However, my vitamin D levels are very low and the sun helps me with that so I braved the heat and went to work on my vegetable garden for a little while today. Two hours to be exact.

Let me first say that working on my garden brings me peace. It allows me to focus on my peace of mind by giving me the time to sit there and enjoy nature while tending to it. I am not a pro in gardening but I am trying to do my part in learning how to grow my own veggies, herbs and hopefully frutis too. I do have a beautiful squash growing and have been tending to it for a few months now.

As I sat there I was able to enjoy the sun, even though it was already hot at 8 am, it made me feel good. As I have mentioned before, I had bariatric surgery early this year and theres a chance that vitamin deficiency might occur. Well, vitamin D is low so I am currently deficient. My doctor prescribed me some and suggested I went out and got some sun while making sure I took care of my self by applying sunscreen and wearing a hat for my face. This is why I went outside today and decided to take care of my physical needs while also taking care of my emotional and spiritual needs.

While I gardened I made it a point to thank Mother Nature for her blessings, and assured her that I was not destroying the grass but rather bringing in more plants to enhance its environment. I know it sounds crazy but I do like to communicate with nature as much as possible. I pray for it and try to do my best not to harm it.

I ended up with a nicely weeded area and with two of my pepper plants from my indoor pots planted firmly in their new outodoor spots. I prepared the regular soil with food and good top soil while also covering them with mulch at the top. I feel satisfied and look forward to the next opportunity I have to transfer my tomatoes and my basil. Doing these things make me happy and cleanse my soul from negativity.

I hope you find something to do today that will allow you to take care of yourself physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Find something to do and immerse yourself in it. Pray while you do it and release any negative energy you might be carrying with you. Take a deep breath and know that you have the power to make yourself better, only you can affect the outcome of your day. Happiness is a choice, and that choice is yours.

Seize the day and be productive in your selfcare. Tend to your needs, to your soul and live your best life. Til next time.

MJ Jones

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Less Stimulus, More Sleep Please.

Step away from electronics

Feeling tired? Join the club!

Millions of Americans suffer from sleep depravation. Many have no choice because they have to work more than two jobs or maybe because they have to work and attend school. Others is because they are single parents or because they have to care for others. All of these are understandable situations. But whats the excuse for those of us who have only one job, no real extracurricular activities or care for others? Lets chat about that.

Each of us is responsible for our own well being. Thats the first thing to understand. When we choose to keep our eyes glued to the tv or to our personal gadgets, we have no one to blame but us. The truth is that more and more we immerse ourselves in social media or binge on shows that take away from our sleep time.

I dont want to sound like a broken record but if you find yourself tired and its not due to some medical condition or one of the situations described above then maybe its time to do some self care? Maybe it’s time to care for you first and foremost. Are you in? I have a few suggestions that will help you with your rest and to create better sleeping habits.

First, lets set up a time to wind down. Choose a time that works with your schedule and stick to it. Turn your tv or gadgets off an hour before bedtime. Prepare yourself by taking a shower or bath, use essential oils or bath bombs to help you relax. If you’re achy, just use Epsom salt in a bath. Relax and meditate. Prayer and/or meditation works to help you focus and release tension from your body. Do what works for you. Visualize and tune yourself with your inner peace. Bring it forth and get your rest. Next, make sure your bed is clean and made, a messy bed with dirty sheets is no place to rest. Set the room temperature according to your preference. Lastly, turn off your phone notifications and the lights. Take a deep breath and go to sleep. Focus on your body and its needs. Your body needs rest so make an attempt to do this.

In time, with a consistent routine you will feel better and your body will know when bed time is approaching. It will let you know when you need to get to bed and start getting your routine together. Trust me, we are overworked, over binged and over stimulated. Its time to calm down and take care of us. Hope my blog helps you feel better and achieve a better nights sleep.

Til next time,

MJ Jones 🌜

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FAMILY AND YOUR HAPPINESS

Hey hey!

Long time no read! I’ve finally sat down to write down my thoughts and share them with the world. So, first things first; I’ve realized that I will be blogging about not only my life after weightloss surgery but also it’s effects on my own family. Lets begin with our choice and it’s effects after surgery.

Enjoy yourself and your family!

More than once I’ve come across pages or posts about folks complaining about not being able to be around their family during preop or after surgery. Lets start with: Why not?

I believe that the first step in truly understading the process is to know that life goes on. Meaning? People should not stop eating around you because you have a restriction. The truth is that if you decide to do this, than you have to be ready to live with food around you.

I know that its hard and that it may seem impossible but it isn’t. Its ok to miss food but its also ok to move forward and adjust your mind to the new you. Its not fair for your family to be deprived of your company. It’s not fair for you to miss their company.

The only way to be successful after surgery is to embrace the new you and your new way of eating. Be happy and know that change is good, remind yourself of why you chose to do this and why you should stick to it. It is possible to reach your goals and enjoy your family at the same time. Its all about how you look at life and food. Dont miss on memories because of your own weakness. Go out there and enjoy yourself. Mingle, cook, whatever! Be with family and love yourself in the process. You’ll feel better at the end and have the struggles to push you forward. You got this 😀

Hope you are well and safe. Take care. Love yourself!

With Luv,

MJ Jones

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Sunday Thoughts

It’s cold outside. In the state of Texas, this is a a good thing. Well, central Texas. As you might know, we get pretty high and dry temps during most of the year. As a matter of fact, so far we have yet to have Father Winter come pay us a much needed visit. In the meantime, Mother Nature has graciously gifted us cooler weather this weekend. As I sit here, I find myself enjoying my family and the current temperature outside. The only damp on my mood comes from the realization that tomorrow will be; Monday.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, we are done with our precious time off. If you are one of the lucky ones to not have to work 40 hours a week in an office, then let me say: I envy you! I so wish I had your life right now. (A small exception to this is, if you are unemployed then no, I dont envy you and I hope all gets better for you) Ok, back to you, the one that has control of his/her weekly life, I so wish I had your life..lol..and I am not ashamed to say that I go through this emotion every single sunday at around this time, everytime.

What do you do? Are you an investor? An influencer? I mean, share the secret and pass the good juju around my friend! Share your wisdom and help us out. Us meaning me and the rest of the working class souls that make up a large percentage in what we call the USA. We want a break too! ha!

Anyways, enough! I can go on and on whinning but I will stop. Because, as many of us know, being employed trumps being unemployed any and all days. Most Americans are two paychecks away from losing everything they have so yes, I am grateful and will count my blessings.

You, the one reading this blog and getting ready to start your week tomorrow should too. It really does beat living under a bridge, and trust me our homeless population issue is a whole different conversation.

So take pride in what you do, prep your meals, iron your clothes and plan your schedule for the week because tomorrow will be here in a matter of hours. You got this, I got this. Try to get an education if you can or increase your skill set. Whatever you do, dont give up and dont sit stagnant, keep moving, keep working, keep planning and keep dreaming. Dreaming is what will get you through everything until you make your dreams a reality. It can be done, it has been done. You and I, will keep moving and improving, dont give up and walk with faith into tomorrow.

Until the next time!

With Luv,

That Mrs Jones