Tag: love yourself

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About Those Goals…

Educate Yourself

I am where I’m supposed to be.

A few years back, I’d decided to become an RN. And as it often happens, life had other plans. After years of doubts and allowing myself to be my biggest obstacle; I decided to go back to school and pursue my dream.

Last year was tougher than 2020. The amount of pain and frustration I have endured it’s no joke. I have sacrificed so much and worked so hard in the last months that just looking back gets me tired. I feel anxious. I am mostly anxious because of the tremendous resilience I have displayed and the extraordinary determination to fulfill my goals. I don’t recognize myself. Perhaps, I just didn’t know what I was capable of.

I am amazed at how much I have endured and overcome. If 2021 taught me anything it’s that we humans, are amazing beings. There’s so much we can do and accomplish when we set our minds to.

I don’t know where you are in life but, if you have a goal or dream, go for it. Life goes by so fast and before you know it, it’s over. Life is not about how much money you have, but rather about how much you have accomplished. Have you been a good person?, do you help others?, are you good to the environment? Have you taught others? Have you shared your wisdom and experiences? Have you loved or have you been loved? These are just a few questions to ponder and review as you get older.

Remember, be kind to yourself. Life is what you make of it and you are in no competition with anyone else. Dream it. Love it. Live it.

Take care,

MJ JONES

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Clarity and Late Nights

The power of thought at night is clarity

Reality is here.

I know that in one of my past blogs, I mentioned being separated from my husband and willing to fight for our marriage. Well, things have changed. I was under the impression that both of us would be “working” towards repairing our marriage but, I was wrong.

It seems that he, the husband is not willing to put in the work, in this case, attend counseling sessions or even try to change some of his negative behaviors. Basically, I am aware that he would change temporarily but not permanently. And I need more than a season, I need life commitment.

There are many reasons a marriage may not last. Lack of communication and commitment are two major reasons. In addition to that, we need trust and loyalty. I had overlooked some of his toxic behaviors because I genuinely thought (fool that I am) that I would change them, that I could be the one to shine a light into him and help him become a better partner. Let me tell you, it does not work. You may be there to emotionally support your spouse day in and day out but nothing will truly change, all that will happen is that he/she will take more from you. In time, your own light diminishes, and your own goals get pushed to the back of your head.

This author has come to the sad and very real conclusion that, no matter how much one loves, or invests in a relationship, the other party has to be equally active in attempting to make things work.

A relationship is not made of one, its consists of two willing individuals trying to do right by each other.

If you are in a one-way relationship, you may want to re-evaluate your position and determine if it is healthy to stay where you are. Live life for you, not for your spouse. We will never change a person who does not want to change. That is the bottom line.

Til next time, do what is best for you. Do not harm others and be positive. 

MJ Jones

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Sun Kissed by Self Love

Love Thy Self

Summer is almost here.

Are you getting ready? Are you anticipating the warm summer nights and hot, hot summer days? The warm sun kisses that summer brings or the heat wave it guarantees?

I am and I am ready. As you may have read in my previous posts, I went through Gastric Sleeve Surgery in order to bring my weight back into the normal healthy range. I have lost 70 pounds in about 15 months and I am loving it.

I love that my knees no longer hurt, I love that I no longer snore and I love that I can climb up the stairs without going into what it felt was a mild heart attack. I love the physical benefits my body now enjoys from being less heavy and I definitely love the mental benefits that also come along with it.

Is my body perfect? Absolutely not. I have some saggy skin, I have lost some muscle tone and have a little wiggly thing under my chin. Guess what? I still love the transformation.

I am trying to get my body a little more toned so I have been working out diligently and slowly but surely my body has started to change. I see a little definition in my arms and thighs now. The point being that it’s my body and only I can take the steps to make it better.

Now that I have come to love myself and my body with all its imperfections, I feel that I can finally begin to enjoy myself the way I always pictured it. What do I mean? I mean that I have finally become a woman with more than one bathing suit! Yes, I have joined that fabulous group of people that just can’t have one bathing suit but multiple. In different colors and styles.

I am over 40 and this is a huge deal for me. All the years of yearning to love myself and be proud of my body have manifested into the woman I am today. Happy and with a positive outlook towards the future.

I wish everyone out there took the time to care for theme selves, life is but a fleeting moment, a blink of an eye. Do what makes you happy today and work towards to an even happier you tomorrow. Don’t give up don’t give in, keep pushing until you find that happy little point in your life that makes you smile, like my joy of having different bathing suits this upcoming summer. It’s the small things that sometimes give us that push, a glimmer of hope into what life should be like.

Take care,

MJ Jones

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Before The Sun Rises. A thought.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

Good morning World!

I was unable to remain asleep til 6am and was up at 335am instead. But why? the world may never know, haha. Needless to say, I decided to get my butt out of bed and into the shower. I managed to exfoliate my body and feet, wash my hair and shave while taking deep breaths in an attempt to cleanse my soul and clear my mind. I sort of meditated while I showered. It felt glorious. The stillness of my home early in the morning is just soothing and encouraging at the same time.

I will be honest and admit that I have never been an early riser but after today, I just may begin a new routine so that I can enjoy the quietness all around me. No city sounds, no people mulling about or passing by, just a dark crisp morning. I feel that sometimes we take the effects of silence for granted. So much can be accomplished while intentionally paying attention to our body mood and mental needs. Praying is highly recommended.

I wonder what it is about humans sometimes needing the isolation and stillness of one’s own company? and more importantly, why is it that we deprive ourselves from it and seem to constantly seek to be around others? Over the years, I have learned to be by myself. I can go anywhere or stay home and enjoy my own company. Is this a skill? to know how to be alone? I am not sure but I truly believe that it has helped me navigate my current relationship status, I am not lonely. I am strong and capable of tending to my wants and needs on my own.

If you are a person that is always surrounded by people because you need to have people around you, I invite you to try a moment of solitude. Pray or meditate. Practice Yoga. Pick an activity to do own your own, love your own company. Learn to be independent and to value your time, especially when you are sharing it with others. Be inquisitive, be daring. Go hiking, go try a new restaurant or take a quick road trip to the next city to explore on your own. You’ll be surprised at the healing and peace that comes from loving one’s own presence.

With this I bid you Adieu and hope you have a positive and productive day!

MJ Jones

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Warm Rain During Winter & my Crappy Mood

Good grief! This weather is driving me nuts. It has me feeling emotional and depressed.

We all know that one of the things that brightens our days is well, daylight. Sunlight more specifically. I need sunny days to feel better and right now, the weather is just not my friend. I know I sound petulant but if you suffer or have ever suffered from depression then you understand where I’m coming from, right now at this moment I wish I could clear the clouds and let the sunrays through. Literally.

With the recent changes in my life and relationship, the last thing I need is to feel down or withdrawn. Yesterday I pushed through it but today, I just gave up. Its too much. I find myself battling anger and tears and frustration. I am upset about everything and nothing. I am fully aware that this is temporary but it sucks. I have no desire or energy to do a single thing.

Thankfully, I managed to finish my homework earlier today and just in time because if I had waited to do my homework “later” I would be screwed right now. I suppose my mind knew this was coming and somehow convinced me to get ahead of the game. Glad I listened to my brain.

Now, I am not down in a way that may worry people around me, no. I am just feeling way off and not right. It will pass but in the meantime I feel trapped in my head with myself and whatever emotions I have been bottling up for weeks. And trust me, its a lot to deal with at the moment.

While I do love winter and its grey days, this rain just throws me off. Plus, its not even really cold so I think that’s another reason why its just not working for me. Its grey, wet and somewhat warmish. Its yucky and just nasty. Can the day just be over? Let’s just start a new one already.

Anyways, I am going to try and get some exercise in, I feel that it just may help my mood (Endorphins and all that). I will do a quick workout, take a bath (not a shower) with my favorite bath bombs and bath bars and just let my mind calm down. I should also read a book while drinking a hot cuppa.

Thanks for reading my post and hope your day is going better than mine, truly. Take care and remember to do the things that make you happy.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” Oscar Wilde

MJ Jones

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With or Without

Feeling broken after a marriage separation is ok

Well, last night was tough.

I literally had a breakdown while trying to wrap a few presents for my adult children. I was in a good mood or at least I thought so, little did I know that the gift wrapping and christmas music would be my undoing.

As I have mentioned before, my marriage is not doing well and its been a hard last few weeks. I am trying to stay positive and still can’t manage it. I love my husband and leaving our marriage was a hard decision but a necessary one. Our fights were becoming more frequent and over simple issues. I was feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. So I left.

However, this has been a tough pill to swallow. Even though I am aware that this change was needed it still hurts. And it hurts terribly. I do hope he seeks therapy, so that he can fix his issues and possibly fix our marriage.

We are blessed to be able to communicate and still spend time with each other with out fighting. There’s no animosity just pain, from both sides. I know he hurts for the loss of our marriage and hope he will find help and put the work into fixing himself while I do the same. We both need professional help.

Last night though, I felt so empty and almost like I was in mourning. I felt a huge sense of loss and despair. I was angry and feeling defeated because this situation was not what I had planned for, especially right before the holidays. I got in the shower and cried it out. I felt my heart breaking and physically hurting from the pain. I was a mess.

And thats another thing I have to acknowledge; my pain. It is ok to feel this bad after a marriage separation. No one gets married thinking that they will divorce. No one. So this is very hard to deal with, especially because I love him and I know he loves me.

So, we will try to get help and gets this mess sorted out but in the meantime I will allow myself to feel, to cry and to plan for tomorrow. With or without him. I pray my life makes a turn for the better and soon. Take care.

MJ Jones

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When Tomorrow Comes

Set up a plan and goals

Good evening. Another day working on my future.

If you read my previous blog then you know Im in the process of ending my marriage. Everyday has been hard, I feel like a zombie of sorts. Not the kind that eats humans but the kind that just walks around wondering the wilderness. I of course, dont live in the wilderness but you get the point. Needless to say, even though my life is currently upside down I am happy to announce that I may have found a new place of residence.

If you’ve ever been in my shoes then you know how awesome this truly is, because that’s one less thing to worry about: shelter. Next is to have a second job. Maybe a short part time to help me build up my savings before I dive into school again.

One thing that truly sucks is that all of this is happening right before the holidays. This is my favorite season and here I am now, at my parents and pulling my hair trying to figure out my next step every ten minutes.

In addition to this, I am hurt and emotionally unstable. Ending a marriage is not easy. I know my soon to be exhusband loves me and I him but living like cats and dogs is just not healthy. The good days were great but the bad days were very bad. And in time, I think the bad outweighed the good. It hurts terribly. I will not bash him here and say that Im happy, blah blah. I am not happy about it. It is debilitating and the pain weighs down my heart.

Walking away was not easy but I do think that staying would have eventually led us to hate each other and that I won’t have. I’d rather finish it in an amicable way. I want to be able to bump into him and say hello and be happy for him. And hope he feels the same towards me.

I hope tomorrow is better than today and I hope tomorrow helps me heal. I hope to set and achieve my goals. I hope for a better me in the future. And I hope for his happiness and health as well.

Good night. Take care.

Luv,

MJ Jones

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Selfcare on a Sunday Morning

Squash and Peppers

Good and blessed morning! I hope your sunday started off fine and continues that way. We’ve had very hot days here in Central Texas and wanting to go outside has been a struggle. However, my vitamin D levels are very low and the sun helps me with that so I braved the heat and went to work on my vegetable garden for a little while today. Two hours to be exact.

Let me first say that working on my garden brings me peace. It allows me to focus on my peace of mind by giving me the time to sit there and enjoy nature while tending to it. I am not a pro in gardening but I am trying to do my part in learning how to grow my own veggies, herbs and hopefully frutis too. I do have a beautiful squash growing and have been tending to it for a few months now.

As I sat there I was able to enjoy the sun, even though it was already hot at 8 am, it made me feel good. As I have mentioned before, I had bariatric surgery early this year and theres a chance that vitamin deficiency might occur. Well, vitamin D is low so I am currently deficient. My doctor prescribed me some and suggested I went out and got some sun while making sure I took care of my self by applying sunscreen and wearing a hat for my face. This is why I went outside today and decided to take care of my physical needs while also taking care of my emotional and spiritual needs.

While I gardened I made it a point to thank Mother Nature for her blessings, and assured her that I was not destroying the grass but rather bringing in more plants to enhance its environment. I know it sounds crazy but I do like to communicate with nature as much as possible. I pray for it and try to do my best not to harm it.

I ended up with a nicely weeded area and with two of my pepper plants from my indoor pots planted firmly in their new outodoor spots. I prepared the regular soil with food and good top soil while also covering them with mulch at the top. I feel satisfied and look forward to the next opportunity I have to transfer my tomatoes and my basil. Doing these things make me happy and cleanse my soul from negativity.

I hope you find something to do today that will allow you to take care of yourself physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Find something to do and immerse yourself in it. Pray while you do it and release any negative energy you might be carrying with you. Take a deep breath and know that you have the power to make yourself better, only you can affect the outcome of your day. Happiness is a choice, and that choice is yours.

Seize the day and be productive in your selfcare. Tend to your needs, to your soul and live your best life. Til next time.

MJ Jones

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Bathtime and Peace of Mind

Treat yourself to sweet scents and a good read.

Good evening. I hope you’re well and enjoying your night. Its now 8:24 pm and I find myself preparing for bed. Best way to do this? A long hot bath.

As I stated before, life seems to move at a faster pace every year. Every day really. Our daily routines can and will take time away from our self care. Often, we have a list of to do things or tasks but more often than not, we never mark anything down to help us with our own self care needs.

Besides time, we often think that taking care of us means we have to spend money we may or may not have, the truth is that a good oil essence added to out bath water can often be enough to relax us and help us release our stress. Stop overthinking and just indulge in some personal time. Set out some candles and just breathe. Relax.

Im not saying that pampering yourself at an actual spa is not great, what I ak saging is that sometimes thats not financially possible. However, it should be ok for gou to enjoy bathtime at home with your favorite candles and oil scents. A few drops of oil will do the trick, no need to use half a bottle in every bath. Some of my favorite scents are Lavender, Vanilla and Sandalwood, depending on my mood. A hot bath with low dimmed light works wonders. If you have a speaker that you can safely use in the bathroom without risking it being too close to your tub then use it. Set it to low volume and play something nice and mellow. It will improve your mood and allow you focus on your breathing and relaxation.

Lastly, love yourself. Your peace of mind and mental health matter. What you do today will improve your tomorrow.

Til next time,

MJ Jones

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Less Stimulus, More Sleep Please.

Step away from electronics

Feeling tired? Join the club!

Millions of Americans suffer from sleep depravation. Many have no choice because they have to work more than two jobs or maybe because they have to work and attend school. Others is because they are single parents or because they have to care for others. All of these are understandable situations. But whats the excuse for those of us who have only one job, no real extracurricular activities or care for others? Lets chat about that.

Each of us is responsible for our own well being. Thats the first thing to understand. When we choose to keep our eyes glued to the tv or to our personal gadgets, we have no one to blame but us. The truth is that more and more we immerse ourselves in social media or binge on shows that take away from our sleep time.

I dont want to sound like a broken record but if you find yourself tired and its not due to some medical condition or one of the situations described above then maybe its time to do some self care? Maybe it’s time to care for you first and foremost. Are you in? I have a few suggestions that will help you with your rest and to create better sleeping habits.

First, lets set up a time to wind down. Choose a time that works with your schedule and stick to it. Turn your tv or gadgets off an hour before bedtime. Prepare yourself by taking a shower or bath, use essential oils or bath bombs to help you relax. If you’re achy, just use Epsom salt in a bath. Relax and meditate. Prayer and/or meditation works to help you focus and release tension from your body. Do what works for you. Visualize and tune yourself with your inner peace. Bring it forth and get your rest. Next, make sure your bed is clean and made, a messy bed with dirty sheets is no place to rest. Set the room temperature according to your preference. Lastly, turn off your phone notifications and the lights. Take a deep breath and go to sleep. Focus on your body and its needs. Your body needs rest so make an attempt to do this.

In time, with a consistent routine you will feel better and your body will know when bed time is approaching. It will let you know when you need to get to bed and start getting your routine together. Trust me, we are overworked, over binged and over stimulated. Its time to calm down and take care of us. Hope my blog helps you feel better and achieve a better nights sleep.

Til next time,

MJ Jones 🌜