Tag: Selfhelp

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Clarity and Late Nights

The power of thought at night is clarity

Reality is here.

I know that in one of my past blogs, I mentioned being separated from my husband and willing to fight for our marriage. Well, things have changed. I was under the impression that both of us would be “working” towards repairing our marriage but, I was wrong.

It seems that he, the husband is not willing to put in the work, in this case, attend counseling sessions or even try to change some of his negative behaviors. Basically, I am aware that he would change temporarily but not permanently. And I need more than a season, I need life commitment.

There are many reasons a marriage may not last. Lack of communication and commitment are two major reasons. In addition to that, we need trust and loyalty. I had overlooked some of his toxic behaviors because I genuinely thought (fool that I am) that I would change them, that I could be the one to shine a light into him and help him become a better partner. Let me tell you, it does not work. You may be there to emotionally support your spouse day in and day out but nothing will truly change, all that will happen is that he/she will take more from you. In time, your own light diminishes, and your own goals get pushed to the back of your head.

This author has come to the sad and very real conclusion that, no matter how much one loves, or invests in a relationship, the other party has to be equally active in attempting to make things work.

A relationship is not made of one, its consists of two willing individuals trying to do right by each other.

If you are in a one-way relationship, you may want to re-evaluate your position and determine if it is healthy to stay where you are. Live life for you, not for your spouse. We will never change a person who does not want to change. That is the bottom line.

Til next time, do what is best for you. Do not harm others and be positive. 

MJ Jones

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Before The Sun Rises. A thought.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

Good morning World!

I was unable to remain asleep til 6am and was up at 335am instead. But why? the world may never know, haha. Needless to say, I decided to get my butt out of bed and into the shower. I managed to exfoliate my body and feet, wash my hair and shave while taking deep breaths in an attempt to cleanse my soul and clear my mind. I sort of meditated while I showered. It felt glorious. The stillness of my home early in the morning is just soothing and encouraging at the same time.

I will be honest and admit that I have never been an early riser but after today, I just may begin a new routine so that I can enjoy the quietness all around me. No city sounds, no people mulling about or passing by, just a dark crisp morning. I feel that sometimes we take the effects of silence for granted. So much can be accomplished while intentionally paying attention to our body mood and mental needs. Praying is highly recommended.

I wonder what it is about humans sometimes needing the isolation and stillness of one’s own company? and more importantly, why is it that we deprive ourselves from it and seem to constantly seek to be around others? Over the years, I have learned to be by myself. I can go anywhere or stay home and enjoy my own company. Is this a skill? to know how to be alone? I am not sure but I truly believe that it has helped me navigate my current relationship status, I am not lonely. I am strong and capable of tending to my wants and needs on my own.

If you are a person that is always surrounded by people because you need to have people around you, I invite you to try a moment of solitude. Pray or meditate. Practice Yoga. Pick an activity to do own your own, love your own company. Learn to be independent and to value your time, especially when you are sharing it with others. Be inquisitive, be daring. Go hiking, go try a new restaurant or take a quick road trip to the next city to explore on your own. You’ll be surprised at the healing and peace that comes from loving one’s own presence.

With this I bid you Adieu and hope you have a positive and productive day!

MJ Jones